I need to get my life together. Not just want. NEED. I waste every day, in nearly every way. I'm tired from thinking and not doing. I'm dismayed from not encountering success. I am failing and miserable, and I have no one to blame but myself. If you want something, you have to reach out and take it for your own. The trouble is, I keep reaching for everything at the same time, and I only have two hands! Before I grasp one task, I'm chasing after ten others. It's no wonder I find myself empty-handed every time. My desire to have everything "just so" results in my OCD and anxiety kicking into full gear, and my mind races to such a degree that I can't focus on one thing at a time. I have to find a way to combat this issue. Any suggestions and tips are welcome and encouraged!
For the time being, my goal is to hone in on the major tasks I need to accomplish and try to set myself a game plan in motion. I have tried this before with no luck. But here goes again!
The main thing that weighs constantly on my mind is the disarray of this house. Not only is it cluttered and disorganized, but there is dust caked on everything, the carpet is stained horribly, and the walls need a good scrubbing. I'm a clean freak by nature, so the condition of our home pains me to no end. I need to make a feasible list of what to do first and so on, in order to keep myself from getting overwhelmed and stopping the work, as I do every day. This cleaning list is a huge priority of mine!
Just as important is my school work and writing. As long as there are no unexpected mishaps with my financial aid, I am scheduled to begin at Full Sail on January 30th. I will be working toward a Creative Writing in Entertainment degree, so obviously, there will be a lot of writing involved. This is a good thing! And a bad thing. Good, because it's about damn time I buckled down and wrote more than silly blogs, ridiculous poetry and tidbits of novels. Hell, for the past two years I haven't written anything! So going to school for writing will force me to write...right? Oh, but have I mentioned my sweet baby from hell that does not like for me to do school work? He literally screams non-stop whenever I put him down and try to focus on something not involving him. (This goes for the housework too). Figuring out how to balance childcare and mindwork will be an accomplishment within itself.
Those are the two main focuses I wish to expend myself on for now. I have several other things I would like to get done, but I'm not even going to mention them now, as the goal here is to stay focused on less in order to excel at more. My next step is to figure out an exact list on the cleaning, and figure out how I can schedule those chores along with taking care of an infant and going to school. No biggie, eh? Ehhhh :(
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